How to deal with surface people when you’re chronically ill..
The surface people are how I like to explain a little disconnection between the surface of another person and the depths of another person. People who do this rarely look past the surface of the people whom they are connection with, so there is a disconnection from looking beyond a persons surface.
We all have them in our life. Probably many of them. They come from all walks of life just as the rest of us. Many of them are more often than not decent people, they just don’t bother to look beneath the surface.
How can you tell who is who?
It becomes really easy to discern who the surface dwellers in your life are. Here is how I do it.
If I am interacting with another person and we are exchanging dialog;
The person will take over the conversation and not allow you to express your input, or the space to speak, talk, or ask you about your illness, or how you are doing? The focus of the conversation is literally all about Them, THEM, and more THEM.
Or maybe you have not seen them for weeks, yet the last time you did, you were on crutches. They will totally avoid asking about you. You may notice that after a long time into the conversation you have not once got to talk about yourself at all.
You will know you have been handled by one of these surface people because you wont desire to spend your time with them anymore. You will say things to yourself like wow this friendship is severely one sided, or do they care anything about me at all?
There are many examples of one sided surface scanning behaviors, I’m sure we all have many examples of what one sided looks like.
What does a healthy 2 sided relationship look like? Think back to the blog post where I asked you How do you like your eggs?
What types of Surface people do you notice around you? What are you’re experiences you’ve had with them?